Trying to find a psychologist is exhausting, emotionally.
I had my hopes up, only to be shot down from the guy. Once I mentioned BPD, he immediately started trying to shuffle me onto other people, vaguely, not even being helpful. I almost cried. Then I got to go back to work for 3.5 hrs.
My friend is amazing. yesterday I went to give someone a lighter back, she said i could keep it, so I'm walking toward the exit to leave work; when I bumped into him and his friend. His friend wandered off immediately, and I said bye and stood there awkwardly for a second, because it seemed he wanted to say something.
Something like this, though it's chopped a little cause I don't remember it perfectly clear.
"have a good evening, and weekend"
"you too. wait, you're coming over sunday still, right?"
"noooo, [joking]. of course"
"awesome."
then he gave me a kiss on the lips, right there at work. pretty sure no one saw, but the fact that he did it where someone could have seen. well. damn that boy. ♥ I was smiling and so giddy upon walking outta work. =D He called me later, and we were talking and I mentioned I was having an amazing night. and he said "and we both know why that is" "you practically skipped out of there"
God damn I can't wait to date this boy. ♥
Yoga, Pilates, and whatever else. eating better is a given.
I need these. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I'm aiming for a size 16 right now. that's 2-3 sizes smaller. When I hit that point, we will see where I go from there. I am not defeatist about this. I can do this. I've been a size 24, and dropped all the way to a 14. I CAN do this. ♥
♥dee
No comments:
Post a Comment