Welcome to UnderCover Borderline.

Hello, and thanks for reading. You can call me Dee. I'm a young college woman with a lot on her plate, on top of BPD.
I don't go to therapy, or take medication. I would love to, I'm positive it would be ridiculously helpful. But I have yet to find a doctor who takes my insurance, is accepting new patients, and is willing to take a BPD client. So until my luck changes, or I'm convincing enough to get a doctor to take me, I suffer.
This blog is my life, as I perceive it.

Friday, November 26, 2010

The irony doesn't escape me

That the name I use on here is very similar to my crazy aunt's nickname. [though she went by dee dee].

That boy and I today at work, we beat each other silly. Flicking each other and shtuff, and I swear it was like when you like someone in middle school lmao. or elementary. I'm sore.

Big date tomorrow! big for me, at least. I invited him out to a lovely asian restaurant, a classy joint. I told him it was a date. I'm excited. Though. dammit. I never did make reservations. I'll try in the morning. I want a late one, like 9 or 930 though. What the eff will I wear? I've gotten fat. I'm easily a size 22 still, my size 20 jeans fit if I don't button them. and they button, but it only shows my stomach fat more so. x.x Maybe if I find a dress on sale tomorrow. but most likely I'll just spend hours sifting through my ill fitting wardrobe. I just need to lose weight to fit back into the clothes I used to fit so, decently at least. I'm at a disgusting size. I want to be a 16, without the huge tummy. x.x then a 12. maybe I'll be happy w myself at a 12.

I need to sleep. but I have grocery shopping I'm currently dreading. LMAO.

I wanna dye my hair bright purple. I even bought the dye. but now I'm concerned he may not like it. because it's "scene" apparently. o.O And when I showed a friend today, he just said "it's very drastic" I didn't tell anyone else cause it's supposed to be a surprise monday lol. But I don't want to look bad. My darling guessed purple, and I had to play it off like no. >.>

Ack. I need to go shopping. I know I didn't talk about much. but I didn't do much aside from what I mentioned. lol

♥dee

4 comments:

  1. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR DATE!!! Be happy with your body, honestly I'm sure you're much better than your brain is telling you. You deserve to think the best and treat yourself like the best!!

    <3

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  2. thanks Lisa, it really means a lot ♥ I've got a wonderful outfit, and purple hair would match it amazingly... maybe I'll dye it early =]

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  3. Have fun on the date. I hope it goes awesomely.

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  4. thank you sir =] I hope so too. especially after such a meh day x.x

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