I know I'm not in love, but it could be so easy.
we talked tonight. He brought up an example of how Freud is not a nut, because I am a lot like his mom. lol.
He mentioned something about how I'm always a rock for other people even when I just want someone to be mine. I asked him to clarify. He said do you want a real example or a general one. I said I preferred real; he brought up my darling dead boyfriend. How during that time, he guesses I was a rock for everyone else, when in NO way should that have been asked of me. And it's true. which is probably why I ended up in the hospital 6 months later. He's very smart, and sweet, and amazing.
I tried to explain something he said about me [that he got right on the mark, he has a scary way of knowing me already] and he said no. it doesn't matter, because it doesn't change things.
I said, "you mean it just is what it is"
him: exactly.
I don't care if I'm just splitting him white right now. It feels nice.
I awkwardly asked him on a date. sorta. not really. lol
I asked if he wanted to talk more tomorrow evening, because we both enjoy our conversations.
I said, maybe you could drive me home?
he asked if I didn't have a way home,
I told him no, my ex needed the car, and I was gonna ask a different friend, but I enjoy our talks more lol.
He said yes,
and I said, you wanna grab dinner tomorrow? my treat.
He asked if he could pick where I said sure. ♥
Is that a date? or just thanking a friend that I've fucked before for the ride home?
I brought up us sleeping together days ago. we did it once, and I wanted at least that from him. Cause I kinda dig him. and I brought it up outright, "__ said I should just say, this was fun, we should do it again sometime. But I'm just not that smooth" lol.
And he said fuck buddies is a bad thing usually, cause someone always ends up developing feelings and the other doesnt. and we aren't fuck buddies.
So I asked what are we?
And he said I dunno. but something.
And I know this whole sleeping together thing doesn't mean nothing. He really seems to enjoy spending time with me. and he's only slept w 3 people, so I don't think this is a flippant thing. And my friend says he deff sees something there from him for me. Like in the way he looks/acts around me. ♥
I am going to bed thouugh. Long day, and I gotta get whored up for tomorrow. XD
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