yesterday wasn't really great. but it wasn't bad either. honestly, aside from homework it was pretty blah.
Today, however, is shaping up to be a good day.
I woke up at 9:30 with my son. How lucky am I that my kid sleeps til 9:30?
Made the kiddo a breakfast, watched some Roseanne, scheduled my classes for next quarter, ate a fiber plus bar, facebooked, decided on dinner plans, and did a little cleaning. The fiance woke up about 12, we sat outside a few minutes and I swept up the porch. I really need to finish getting the house painted. oh well, it'll get done soon enough. I'm in a pretty good mood. I haven't woke up this early in a week, cause I haven't been able to sleep until 6, 7, sometimes 9 in the morning. >.< I'm fighting back some self-image issues, but I will NOT let them screw up today. Dammit, I deserve a day of happy.
Gonna bust out the indoor grill thingy tonight, see how that works out.
Watching Hoarders: Buried Alive. I have a tendency to hoard, a lot of it clothing, but nothing like that. but I've moved so much, lost so many things dear to me, including the best self portrait [and oil pastel] that I have ever done. When I first moved here, all I could bring from my old home was what I could fit into 1/2 a laundry basket. Which is probably why I have a tendency to not let things go.
I hoard people too. I know that sounds strange, but let me explain. I practically refuse to let people out of my life. I don't let people go. exes, former friends, I keep them in my life in some way. I don't want anyone to leave me, even after I leave them. o.O
I'll post more later.
How is everyone today? good, bad, or blah day so far?
The daily like of a borderline angel; who hides in plain sight. Love or hate, this is me.
Welcome to UnderCover Borderline.
Hello, and thanks for reading. You can call me Dee. I'm a young college woman with a lot on her plate, on top of BPD.
I don't go to therapy, or take medication. I would love to, I'm positive it would be ridiculously helpful. But I have yet to find a doctor who takes my insurance, is accepting new patients, and is willing to take a BPD client. So until my luck changes, or I'm convincing enough to get a doctor to take me, I suffer.
This blog is my life, as I perceive it.
I don't go to therapy, or take medication. I would love to, I'm positive it would be ridiculously helpful. But I have yet to find a doctor who takes my insurance, is accepting new patients, and is willing to take a BPD client. So until my luck changes, or I'm convincing enough to get a doctor to take me, I suffer.
This blog is my life, as I perceive it.
Hey there! Blah day definately! I have BPD also..and today I just feel NUMB!
ReplyDelete*hug*
ReplyDeleteI know how much that sucks! hang in there hun, it'll get better. eventually. lol. I've been on a semi-high of feeling good, I'm just dreading the crash. >.<
Also, Detroit Red Wings fan? your taste in hockey is impeccable! =]
I am having such a hard day and the loneliness feels so intense. I totally relate to refusing to let people out of my life- the thought of someone leaving terrifies me.
ReplyDelete