Rawr.

so. working now. that's always fun. too bad I have to work 2 jobs. because someone has wage garnishments and I will bring in more money. applied for a credit card, only a 300$ limit but my credit will benefit from it. I'm rocking back and forth writing this, cause I'm tired lol.

I've been talking to a friend lately. it's very nice and infuriating at the same time. on the plus side, he's almost as screwed up as I am. and he is unlikely to be swayed by my charisma. o.O Though it would probably be easy to get him to forget his morals. I don't want to be that kind of person. >.>

The one who shattered me has been on my mind lately. he got in a fight with his wife, hxc shit all over the web [retaliation for her constant posting every tiny negative thing] He even said he regretted marrying her. I never was 100% sure they'd last but I thought theyd have a few more years than this. they've only been married like 6 months >.> but he called me out in a blog. I screen shot it, which is weird but oh well. he just mentioned how he spoils her crazy and she's barely got him anything [3 things, one being broken and another being his wedding ring] in 2 years.
"Even my ex who I'm still friends with, dee, got me this and this and this. it's not hard to get inexpensive things off ebay or something"
My heart pittered a little. I don't love him anymore. really. But he was the world to me for a while, and I barely mattered to him at all. I just want him to wonder, to miss me, to think that he let a catch slip by. Is that stupid? >.>
But they made up, which is great. he even changed his relationship status to 'single' beforehand. It was pretty fucking bad. But I'm glad they made up.

God. I am not having a good week.

On the plus side. Brand New's The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me has got to be the best album I've heard in ages, I am becoming re-addicted to it. Degausser, Jesus Christ, Untitled, Handcuffs. Just a few of the tracks I can't get out of my head.

In other tunes, I've been listening to a lot A7X lately. Beast and the Harlot won't get outta my head, lol. Though I'm pretty sure 1/2 the lyric sites are wrong "She's a dwelling place for demons, she's a cage for every unclean spirit, every filthy burden" that's what I think it is, I keep seeing "bird" some people are retarded >.>

I miss when life was easy. I miss being alone sometimes. I'm never alone anymore. I love my family, I can tolerate my friend, but I need some goddamn alone time. grrr. I'm going to go insane without it.

Maybe I can get a friend to go out for drinks. that would be alright, I think. drinking alone is depressing.